Funerals: The perfect excuse to day drink?

So today I had to attend a funeral for my great uncle. He was old and died of something that nobody in my entire family can seem to explain. He was one of those distant uncles that had a ton of experiences with my father but close to none with me, so I was a bit confused as to how I should emotionally process this. When I'm not sure what to do I resort to trying to find humor in a situation. So that's what I did on twitter. Yes, I live tweeted a funeral, sue me. I even included a vine of the worst church singer ever. I'm aware I'm going straight to hell, but like who isn't nowadays?


Anyway, my cheap Italian family doesn't have a reception after funerals like most people with millions of dollars do, so we went to a local restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol. I had some awful scrambled egg/cheese/bacon potato skins which sounded amazing in theory but resulted in a brick in my stomach. Luckily, funerals bring together the distant cousins that are disastrous and horrible influences. My stunningly gorgeous distant cousin was there and about mid-way through my scrambled egg debacle said, "can we go get alcohol?" I obliged, obviously.

So we went to a restaurant nearby and had a glass of wine and then stopped by a liquor store and began brown bagging a bottle of peppermint schnapps. When we made it back to our original restaurant I just told everyone we went for a walk. It was then that I realized the beauty of a funeral is nobody questions if you drink in the middle of the day. I mean if you need to mourn into a bottle of booze then who is anyone to stop you?

So the upside to funerals is that you can get wrecked and, if you are a funny drunk like me, put a smile on a few people's faces who would otherwise be frowning. I'm an advocate of celebrating life, not death, so if me getting drunk and throwing out some irreverent one-liners will make some cheer spread then why the fuck not do it? Let's put the 'fun' back in 'funeral', people.