The Anti-Christ: Eddie Timanus

It's no secret that I love me some Jeopardy. I don't understand half of the questions/answers they ask on the show but I do love the awkward small talk that Alex Trebek gets into with the contestants. That was, until this week. The contestants this week are from previous Jeopardy episodes that aired in the 90s and I got to meet for the first time someone who I'm 99.9% sure is the anti-christ. It goes by the name of Eddie Timanus:

Now before people get all fucking testy about the fact that I'm "making fun of" a blind guy calm your tits. First of all I love blind people. I love Helen Keller, I love Stevie Wonder, I love Ray Charles, and I loved Cordelia from American Horror Story, so chill. There is something that blind people who are in the public eye (no pun intended) do when they are blind and that is WEAR SUNGLASSES. It is very uncomfortable, especially in Eddie's case, to see vacant sockets where eyes should be. I've done some research and it does appear that Eddie has eyes but due to whatever his condition is, his brow ridge blankets the remainder of his eyes in shadow creating the illusion that he is eyeless. Absolutely fucking terrifying. 

Pair that with the fact that he resembles "The Yellow Bastard" from Sin City and we now can start to see the fact that he is, indeed, the anti-christ. 

During the awkward interview portion of the show he said to Alex, "Oh I love your gold tie, Alex." Alex Trebek kept calm but you could tell he wanted to run because he was wearing a mother fucking gold tie! That, my friends, is the anti-christ displaying his powers of clairvoyance and straight up demonic omniscience. In Final Jeopardy, he wagered just enough to lose even when he could have won with ease, so my guess is that he just wanted to show us all that he is coming and now is disappearing into his eyeless world of ghouls to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting. I'm stocking up on holy water, cloves of garlic, and crucifixes because I can't take any chances. #teamjesus.