Obviously we cackled, but then I was panic-stricken because I realized how thin the walls were where I live. I didn't want to jeopardize this man's moment by him hearing us or what we were watching. I mean, after all, hearing Adam Levine's speaking voice is enough to ruin any erection! So I said to my friend "Should I like put on the soundscapes channel or something?" As if hearing a babbling brook and buddhist monks chanting is any more sexy. But then I realized that if he wanted to set the mood he could turn on his own music so obviously he wasn't phased by our television choice or chatter.
It was most bizarre because I have never heard two people having sex so loudly in my life unless I was one of the people having sex. Like this girl either was a really good actress or my neighbor has a huge dick. I almost want to leave a note in his mailbox with one of those overly obnoxious singing cards to congratulate him on his evening. I swear I've seen one in Spencer's that had like "Let's Get it on" playing when you opened it.
I almost want to have like even louder sex now just to show him he's not special. Like I want to have "break a wall" sex or "plate smashing" sex just to really remind him that there is always room to grow (no pun intended). I don't particularly like my neighbor because he makes a ton of noise on the regular but this was the first time that I actually found the level of noise to be appropriate given the act that was transpiring five feet above my head.
So I guess I'm a real adult now that I've heard my neighbor having sex. But I'm not sure I can handle it often so the next time he's at it I'm going to start blasting the Frozen soundtrack.
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